All Fall Down
by Cre8tvWrtr
Summary: *Story Complete*Angela’s father invites her to Europe, but an accident will chang her life forever. Angela's Ashes Remix
1. My Dearest Angela

**A****/N: Standard "I don't own squat" disclaimer applies. **

**Angela's Ashes completely bummed me out, so here is a remix of sorts.**

**Hope you enjoy, don't forget to leave me a review and let me know what you think!**

**Peace,**

**Shawna**

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**All Fall Down: 1**

**My Dearest Angela**

Angela sat propped up against the head board of her bed in her dorm, lightly fingering the envelope in her hand. The return address, printed in neat well defined print, indicated it was from her father. She smiled to herself as she pondered the contents. Angela's father wrote to her infrequently, but she treasured each letter she received from him, saving them all in a special box that she kept under her bed. Her daddy had not always been there, but Angela was always sure of his love for her. Even when her mother left her at the tender age of twelve- her daddy was there.

Gently, she picked up a jade handled letter opener that her father had brought her back from one of his many military missions to the Orient, and she sliced the envelope open slowly. Carefully, as if it might disappear at any moment, she pulled the letter out and unfolded it.

~ '_My Dearest __A__ngela-,' she read,_

 _'How I miss you! I trust all is well with you as your term comes to an end at Pennbrook. I have some news for you, and I hope that it will make you very happy._

_I am being stationed in __England__, and I want you to come with me. Just for a year, sweetie, as I understand that you will miss your friends. Do not worry about school, I can arrange for you to attend University in __England__. _

_Please think this over; I want nothing more than to spend time with you. I know I haven't always been there for you, and I want to make it up to you, somehow._

_I am coming to __Philadelphia__ next week. I hope that when I leave, you will be coming with me.   _

_A__ll My Love,_

_Daddy' ~_

Tears welled in Angela's eyes as she reread the letter. '_Leave Pennbrook, leave my friends, most all- leave Shawn?'_ she pondered quietly as the tears began to fall in earnest, splashing the perfect script of her daddy's handwriting. As much as she loved her father, and wanted the opportunity to spend time with him- it hurt so bad to think of leaving. 

Angela slid down on her bed, clutching the letter to her chest. Her mind wandered back a few months to the night Shawn had discovered that he may never find his real mother. He had arrived at Alan Matthews's birthday party drunk off his ass. Angela had been disappointed in him for choosing alcohol over coming to her with his pain- but she felt for him. She still loved him; nothing he did could ever change that. Shawn asked her to never leave- to never leave him like everyone else had, besides Cory. Angela promised that she would never go away.

_ 'How can I consider leaving the man I love more than my own breath, when I promised him I wouldn't?'_ She thought. Shawn would be heartbroken. The opportunity to spend some much needed time with her dad beckoned to her though. Angela knew her father would be hurt if she declined his invitation.

Feeling confused, distraught and more alone than she ever had before, Angela's thoughts were consumed by the two most important people in her life. Finally, she rolled to her side; arms wrapped around a pillow, and cried herself to sleep.

~~~~~~

The next morning dawned, and Angela awoke to the feel of the warm sun on her raw salty face. The crumpled letter she still clutched in her hand brought memory flooding back to her. 

Remaining motionless on her bed she tried to pretend it was all a dream. 

Only minutes later, Rachel's alarm clock brought her out of her reverie. Angela knew she must face the day- and face the decision put before her. She had to talk to Shawn.

Rising and making her way to her dresser, she pulled out olive green jeans, and a black v-neck t-shirt. She was in no mood for color today. A shower sounded wonderful; it might help to wash some of the tension from her aching muscles, and it was sure to wash the streaks from her tear stained face. 

Angela had no idea that the events of the day would change her life forever- She had not yet seen the end of her tears. 


	2. A Heart Divided

**A****ll Fall Down: 2**

**A Heart Divided**

The student union was bustling with students, almost fighting each other for their morning drug of choice- caffeine. Late night studying, preparing for finals and early classes all fed the need for this addiction. Angela stood in line, deciding to forgo her usual soy double latte, in favor of a soy quad mocha with vanilla. She had no concern over calories this morning.

She scanned the room, searching for Shawn. Her heart ached for his embrace, his comforting words, and his wise advice. How would he react to this news? Shawn was notorious for withdrawing, keeping his feelings hidden. Angela knew she would have to read between the lines to know what he really thought about the situation.  

Shawn was nowhere to be seen as yet. Out of the corner of her eye, she spotted Cory and Topanga enter. Relief washed over her at the sight of familiar faces. Angela had to tell someone. 

"Topanga, Cory!" She called. They saw her and smiled, making their way to her though the throng of students. 

"Good morning, my dear," Cory said, giving Angela a light peck on the cheek. Topanga grinned, happy that her husband and her best friend had developed a close friendship. 

"Sleep well?" Asked Topanga, giving her friend a hug.

Angela shook head. "No- no I didn't. Look, I need to talk to you guys." Angela took a deep breath. She hated to tell them before she told Shawn- but she had to get this out. "Let's grab our coffee and then find a seat. Cory, have you spoken to Shawn this morning?"

"No, why?" Cory's smile faded, and concern washed over his face. "Trouble in paradise?" He asked.

"Maybe." Angela stated simply, leaving her friends with indescribable worry, and turned to place her order.

The union cleared out quickly as the first wave of student's made their way to classes, leaving the seating area empty. The three piled onto the sofa, making themselves comfortable.

"So- spill." Topanga demanded, sipping her latte.

Angela took a deep breath. Nothing had been harder for her, at least, not since being away from Shawn during their break up last year. She pulled the crumpled letter from her pocket and handed it to Topanga. Angela sipped her drink slowly, savoring the flavor of the espresso. It was bitter like the heaviness of her spirit; the chocolate and vanilla were sweet- reminiscent of the great love she felt for the two men who divided her heart.

Topanga looked at Angela, with questions in her eyes, as she unfolded the paper and began to read. Cory read over her shoulder.

"No-no-," began Cory, "You can't Angela." Cory shook his head and looked into her face, sadness in his eyes.

"I haven't decided anything yet." Angela whispered. "I need to speak to Shawn. I need to decide with him. I could never leave without his blessing." Tears stung her eyes, and she fought them with everything in her.

"Angela, this is a wonderful opportunity- I don't see how you can pass this up." Topanga, who was always practical, stated with conviction.

Cory's eyes were diverted to the door, where two men dressed in Army uniform entered the building. They seemed to be searching for someone. Moving to a nearby student, the soldiers spoke quietly, and then the student pointed to Angela.

Angela's eyes followed Cory's gaze, and she froze at the sight that met them. Two uniformed men, Army like her father, walking towards her. _'No, No, No-,'_ she thought and shook her head. There could only be one reason for the men to be here, walking in her direction. 

Angela's heart stood still.


	3. Two Uniformed Men

**A/N: I own nothing- except the military men. **

**BTW- I don't know much about rank/protocol issues in the Army, so if somebody want's to clue me in, I'd be eternally grateful!**

**Thanks to those of you who have reviewed so far, YOU GUYS ROCK!!!**

**I know- I keep distracting myself from Boy Meets Parenthood- I guess I just always have to have something angsty going on too- : P**

**Peace,**

**Shawna**

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**All Fall Down: 3**

**Two Uniformed Men**

"Angela Moore?" The taller man asked solemnly, looking at Angela. Both men removed their hats as they approached.

"Yes?" She replied, trying to hide her terror.

The men stood dutifully in front of her. 

"I am Sergeant Major Hills," the taller man began, "and this is Officer O'Brian. Can we speak to you privately?"

"Anything you need to say to me, you can say here." 

Angela was too frightened to move- she was afraid her legs would buckle under her if she tried to stand.

"Alright, I am afraid there has been an accident," Officer O'Brian began, "and your father was killed."

"How? W-Why?" Angela managed to get out. With just a few spoken words, what she had feared was reality. Tears began to sting her eyes again; shock was draining the blood from her face. Time was blurring, faces were becoming distorted. 

"That is classified confidential information. I'm sorry I can't give you more detail. I will be in touch with you in a couple days to inform you of funeral proceedings. We will handle everything for you. Again, I am truly sorry- your father was a good man." Hills said, trying to soften his harsh disclosure.

"Miss Moore." The soldiers said as they bowed slightly and turned to go. This was the worst part of their job. They hated delivering bad news, and tried to make it as quick as possible.

Angela sat in disbelief when the men left. '_How could this have happened?' Her father, her only parent that had loved her, comforted her, and at least tried to be there for her, was gone; killed, they had said. '__Why?' They couldn't even tell her what happened; it was classified 'confidential'. _'Huh, my own father's death is confidential from me.'_ She thought, anger rising through her tears._

"Why?!" Angela finally let out of her paralyzed mouth. "Why MY daddy?" She collapsed against the back of the couch as Cory and Topanga tried unsuccessfully to comfort her. Unrestrained tears fell down her face, causing rivers of black mascara to mar her perfect complexion.

"Topanga- I am going to call Shawn. Stay with her." Cory said, taking control. If he could not comfort Angela, he was getting the one person that he knew could. He was going to get him NOW. Determinedly, Cory strode to the student phone.

Topanga held Angela as they both cried. Angela's sobs slowly subsided as numbness came over her like a flood of welcome relief. Time froze. People were beginning to gather around, wondering and whispering.

Cory slammed the phone down on the receiver when there was no answer at Shawn's apartment.

"Take her to Shawn's apartment; I am going to look for him." Cory stated bluntly as he walked by them and out of the union. "Damn it! Why does he pick now to be out of reach," Cory cursed under his breath.

*~*~*~*~

Topanga took Angela's key from her trembling hand, and slipped it into the lock to Shawn's apartment. Angela had not uttered one word since her cries of 'why?' Topanga hurt for her best friend. It was horrible to know there was nothing she could say, nothing she could do, to make it better. The one thing she could do, she did- she stayed with her. 

"Here, just sit on the couch," Topanga whispered, "I am going to make you some chamomile tea." She knew there was some in the cupboard- the girls had left it there, and the guy's never touched it. Topanga moved to the sink and put the kettle on to boil. Lost in her thoughts for Angela and her future, she went about warming the tea pot. 

Angela sat down lightly, almost afraid to move, to breathe, to speak, or to think- for fear the pain would come back- the bone crushing, head splitting pain that tore her heart and gripped her chest in agony. Angela's eyes were raw from all the crying of the last 14 hours, her limbs were still numb from the shock of it all. Her head was spinning, and she'd had to lean on Topanga while they had walked to the apartment. 

Angela leaned back on the couch and slowly brought her knees to her chest, hugging them tightly to her. She focused her eyes on some distant, unspecific point on the wall ahead of her. Tears slipped silently down her cheeks, but she was unaware of them.

Topanga placed the steaming mug in Angela's hand. Angela moved the cup slowly to her mouth, still numb, her eyes still unmoved from the place on the wall. She was shutting down, and it troubled Topanga. 

_'Oh, Cory hurry-,'_ Topanga thought desperately. The ringing of the phone broke her thoughts, and she hurried to answer it. 

"Hello?" she said anxiously, hoping to hear Shawn's voice, or even Cory's saying that he found Shawn. 

"Topanga, I am still looking." Cory replied, and Topanga's heart sank. After a moment Cory continued, "I just wanted to make sure you got Angela there ok. Is Shawn there?"

"No, he's not." Topanga spoke quietly, not wanting Angela to hear too much of the conversation. "I am worried about her, Cory. She is closing off- she hasn't spoken since the student union." 

"I'll find him as soon as I can," Cory stated with determination, "and I'll call to check in soon." 

"Hurry, Cory," Topanga whispered.  Topanga hung up the phone and turned back to her distraught friend. 

Angela had not moved a muscle, except to bring the cup to her lips. The beverage burned its way down her throat, relieving some of the tightness. 

_'Where can I go from here,'_ Angela thought_, 'Your love I can't erase, oh, Daddy- _

_Your eyes have seen my unformed heart, because you were there right from the start. _

_I feel your loving arms embrace me, when I sit down, when I rise…. _

_You know all my ways- oh Daddy, where can I go from here; _

_Your love I can't escape._

_ If I take the wings of dawn, or live in the deep part of the sea- you are there.' _

Angela sang in her heart the words that came to her mind- a memory locked away, a trace from her childhood, from before her mother left them. Poetic verse learned in Sunday school came back to comfort her heart. She was still silent, still turned inward, refusing to accept that she would never see her father again. Never feel his strong arms around her, and never smell his familiar scent of after shave and cinnamon again. 

Topanga sat next to her silently, praying for Cory to find Shawn soon. If anyone could bring Angela back, it was Shawn.

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Second A/N:

The song Ang sang in her mind was bits and pieces of _"Where can I go from Here"_ by Terri Dubuc, you can find it on her CD, Into the Fire.  Terri is an awesome Gal- I am privileged to have met her. Don't hate me for usin' your song Terri! : )

Bible lyrics in Terri's song were from Psalm 139, Happens to be my favorite Psalm : )

Peace Always,

Shawna


	4. Bring Me To Life

**A/N: Only own what I mentioned before. Oh yeah, and turnips don't bleed.**

**Amy, you are a GEM among gems! The most genuine friend of all time- How many friends could maintain a friendship across the miles like we do?  We are just as close now as when we lived next door to each other.  I was so touched by your review~**

**Christina, I thanked you on Viv's board, but I need to do it again- YOU ROCK! Thank you sooo much for the info and the support!**

**Everyone, HAA, Elane, Tessa, Nicki, TLM, I am so happy you are enjoying the story.  : )  Thanks from the bottom of my heart for your reviews! They are (each and every one of them) all special to me~**

**It is a rather sad and angsty story- but rather delicious too. Emotional deliciousness. Not normally my style (or is it?) I usually prefer to watch comedy- but I am finding an affinity for reading and writing angst. Hmmm. Ahhha, it must be that good old Victorian romance thing Anne of Green Gables had a fancy for! I just loved those books, L.M. Montgomery was so totally gifted!!!**

** Ok, I will stop now and let you read this chapter. **

**Make sure to tell me if you want to hear more- or if you feel the story is done with chapter four. I have a little more written, but I hate to milk it too much. Decisions, decisions…….    ; )**

**Peace,**

**Shawna**

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**All Fall Down: 4**

**Bring Me To Life**

Cory searched franticly, questioning students, teachers anyone and everyone he saw. In desperation he went to Feeny's office. He didn't get a chance to see Mr. Feeny- Eric was outside the office. A glimmer of hope shone in Cory's face. 

"Eric, thank God- do you know where Shawn is?" Cory panted, out of breath from running. He had been searching all over campus.

"Uh, ya, actually, I think he said something this morning about meeting Angela for lunch." 

Cory grabbed the collar of Eric's shirt, "Where?!" He demanded.

"The student union, I think-," confused, Eric studied Cory's face noticing his relief at the mention that he may find Shawn. "Why, what's wrong?"

"Angela's father was killed," Cory replied, letting go of Eric, "Look, if you see him, tell him to go straight home. Topanga is sitting with Angela in the apartment." With that, Cory turned on his heel and took off sprinting toward the student union. 

Eric just stared after him full of questions, and in disbelief. First Shawn, and now Angela- life was so unfair.

~~~~~

Shawn sat at a table with his coffee and sighed as he looked at his watch. Angela should have been there by now. They were supposed to meet at noon, and it was now twenty after. It just wasn't like her to be late, so he figured she must have a good reason. Shawn took a long swig of coffee and went back to the book he was trying to study.

Cory burst through the doors, and spotted Shawn right away. Running to his table, he blurted out his mission, "Shawn, Angela needs you now! I've been looking for you all morning." Cory took a breath and let it out gradually, trying to slow his heart rate. "Look, her dad died, Shawn. We're worried about her. She won't talk."

"Oh, my God- No," Shawn exclaimed as he jumped from the table, abandoning his coffee and book. "Where is she?" His eyes were frantic.

"She's at your apartment." Both men dashed for the exit. All Shawn could think about was the pain she had to be feeling. The pain that was all too familiar to him.

~~~~~

Topanga had managed to get Angela into a bubble bath, and then into Shawn's robe. Gently she led her to Shawn's bed for a nap, thinking that sleep may be the best thing for her right now. Once Angela was safely tucked in, Topanga placed a couple of calls. Rachel and Mr. Feeny were both very understanding, and glad that Topanga had called them. It was one less thing for Angela to worry about doing. Topanga just felt it was the least she could do. 

As soon as Topanga hung up the phone from talking to Rachel, Shawn rushed in the door, followed closely by Cory. 

"Where is she?" Shawn asked impatiently. He needed to see that she was ok.

"She is in your room, I thought she could use some sleep." Topanga began, "Wait! I need to tell you something." She stopped Shawn as he was ascending the stairs.

"What?"  Shawn questioned, out of breath, irritated, and sure that nothing could be more important than him seeing Angela.

"Here," walking to Shawn, Topanga reached into her pocket and pulled out the letter from Angela's dad. She had placed it there after the uniformed bearers-of-bad-news had left the union that morning.

Shawn looked at Topanga briefly before turning his eyes to the letter. He read for a moment in silence before replying. "Oh, man- when did she get this?"

"Last night." Topanga replied. "Angela wanted to tell you this morning, but she couldn't find you." She took a breath and watched Shawn's face, "As soon as she told Cory and I, the soldiers found her and told her that her dad had been killed. She's still not speaking, Shawn. I hope you can reach her."

Shawn kicked himself mentally for skipping his coffee this morning- and even more for ignoring the feeling that he needed to see Angela. He had awoken from a nightmare he couldn't remember with an urgent need be with her. He shook his head, and his regret was clear to Cory and Topanga.

Shawn turned and took  the stairs two at a time, letter still in hand. _'Would she have left?'_ he wondered, feeling guilty for having such a selfish thought.

It didn't matter, Shawn decided as he opened the door. Angela lay on his bed, in the appearance of sleep, but tears still glistened on her cheeks. She was motionless, curled into a ball on her side.

Shawn knew that Angela's father was the only family that she had left. Her mother ran out on her, and her grandparents had died in an accident ten years previously. _'Why Angela, why does she have to go through this?'_ Shawn questioned himself. He knew there was no answer, but that didn't make him feel any better. 

Shawn moved quietly to Angela, gently lay down beside her, and wrapped his arms around her. With one arm under her head, and the other around her shoulders he held her tightly.

_'I've been sleeping a 1000 years it seems. I've got to open my eyes to everything.'  
'Without a thought. Without a voice. Without a soul'  
'Don't let me die here. There must be something wrong.'_

"Shawn," Angela whispered, recognizing him without opening her eyes, "please don't let go. I'm afraid that I'll crumble into a thousand pieces." She pushed her face into his shoulder, hoping to hide from the devastation she felt.

"I will never let you go, Ange, I love you," Shawn whispered gently into her ear. "You're my life, baby- the reason I breathe." He brought Angela's chin up with his finger, and looked into her face. He had heard somewhere that the eye is the gateway to the soul, and as their gaze met, he could swear that her soul mingled with his and cried out to him; and Shawn began to let his own tears fall silently. __

_'How can you see into my eyes, like open doors?'_

_'Leading you down into my core where I've become so numb.'_

Her pain was his pain. Shawn's father's death was fresh in his mind as he held Angela and shared in her mourning. Shawn had never been as close to anyone, as he was to Angela. Their relationship was so much more than he ever knew could exist. It was spiritual as well as physical, emotional, intellectual- as if they truly shared one soul, and neither was complete without the other. 

They lay there for a long time, each one's eyes focused on the other. Shawn was giving her strength, anchoring her- and Angela was drawing his energy, and making it her own.  When Shawn felt her body relax in his arms, and her eyes lost their desperation, he brought his lips to hers tenderly, gently.

_'Without a soul my spirit's sleeping somewhere cold '_

_'until you find it there and lead it back home'_

 Angela accepted his comfort, his love. As Shawn gently began to rub her back, she kissed him more deeply. He always seemed to know just what she needed. He was bringing her back from the dark place she had been in; a place of death and hopelessness, where there was no past, no future- Shawn brought her to himself.  Angela finally felt it was safe to breathe.

_'Wake me up inside. I can't wake up. Save me. '_

_'Call my name and save me from the dark.'   
 'Bid my blood to run. Before I come undone.' _

"What am I going to do, Shawn?" Angela pulled away gently and stared into Shawn's eyes again. Worry beginning to cross her brow. 

_'Now that I know what I'm without, you can't just leave me.'_

_'Breathe into me and make me real.'  
_"I will always take care of you, Angela, always. You don't have to worry about a thing." He looked back into her eyes, and saw them soften slightly. He slipped his hand under her robe, and stroked her skin gently, innocently.

_'Frozen inside without your touch, without your love, darling.'___

_'Only you are the life among the dead'_

Shawn's touch was so comforting. Angela brought her lips to his for a moment, and then whispered, "I'd be lost without you."

_'All of this sight, I can't believe I couldn't see. Kept in the dark, but you were there in front of me'  
'I've been sleeping a 1000 years it seems. I've got to open my eyes to everything.'  
' Bring me to life.'_

It would be a long road, and Shawn knew it. Angela would be ok, he knew that now. She spoke to him, she responded to him- she allowed herself to feel. Shawn swore to be there every step of the way- he'd never let her fall._  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~_

**_(Song Lyrics: Bring me to life, by Evanescence. No, I didn't put them in order- it fit better this way.)_**

Peace,

Shawna


	5. Deeply

**A****ll Fall Down: 5**

**Deeply **

Shawn held Angela in his arms all afternoon. By dinner time, he was able to coax her out to the kitchen for a bite of food. Never for a moment did he leave her side- Angela was so thankful for him. 

Cory and Topanga had left for a while to give Shawn time with Angela. They were both very relieved to have found Shawn, and even more relieved that Angela was responding to him.

Shawn sat Angela on the couch, and fed her canned chicken soup while they watched reruns of a popular sitcom. She stared at the screen blankly, and every now and then a single tear would slip from her dewy eyes and roll down her cheek. Angela wondered where this endless stream of tears came from- she felt dry- as if there couldn't possibly be any tears left inside of her; but somehow moisture continued to find its way to the brim and spill over.

Soup bowl abandoned on the coffee table, Shawn put his arm around Angela and drew her closer to him. He took her hand and laced his fingers with hers. 

Placing gentle kisses on her head Shawn whispered to her; whispered words of affection and comfort that could only be uttered by someone who shared her pain- who had felt the raw agony of death in the deep abyss that was called grief. 

It wasn't long until Angela wanted to go to bed. She was weary of the ache in her chest, the taste of her tears, and the emptiness of loss. Sleep sounded like a blessed relief. As much comfort as Shawn was, he was not her daddy. 

"Will you take me home Shawn?" Angela whispered.

"No," Shawn took her face gently in his hands, "I want you to stay here tonight. I want to know that you're ok."

Angela nodded, relieved. She dreaded the thought of being in her dorm, far from the comfort that Shawn freely offered her.

"I am tired though, I'd like try to sleep."

"No problem," Shawn rose and helped her up. The bowl on the table could wait- it was more important to focus on Angela tonight. Placing an arm gently around her waist he led her up the stairs and to his room. 

"Do you want me to sleep on the couch?" Shawn asked quietly. He really hoped she would say no.

"No," She shook her head, "I want you here- I need you here." Fresh tears once again traced silently down her chocolate skin. 

Taking Angela in his arms, Shawn kissed the tears away, smoothing her hair with his hands. How he wished he could make it all go away for her. 

"I need to take a quick shower; will you be okay for a few minutes?" He asked, looking into her eyes for an answer.

Angela managed a small smile and nodded, "Ya, you go ahead- I'll be ok."

Shawn brought his lips to hers for a moment, sweetly and slowly before moving away from her to his dresser. As he grabbed a clean pair sweats from his drawer, he also took a clean t-shirt out for Angela. 

"Here, this should be more comfortable than my robe."

"Thanks." Angela replied softly. 

Shawn left the room, and Angela sank onto his bed, once again feeling anxiety washing over her. It was as if when Shawn left the room, her strength left with him. She fingered the collar of the shirt and held it tightly to her chest.

Minutes later, Angela could stand it no longer.  She did not want to go back to the place of all consuming pain that she had been in earlier. Pushing herself off the bed, she walked the few steps to the bathroom, and knocked lightly on the door. 

With the shower running, Shawn did not hear the gentle tap at the door, or hear when Angela let herself in. She disrobed quickly and stepped toward the shower. 

"Shawn," Angela called to him softly.

Shawn pulled the curtain back in surprise, but it only took him a moment to understand. Angela needed him, and there she was before him- naked and vulnerable. Extending his hand, Shawn helped Angela into the shower with him. How many times had he dreamt of this- holding her skin to skin- washing her - making love to her? 

Tonight Shawn just wanted to comfort Angela in the way she needed to be comforted. The last thing he would ever do would be to take advantage of her. As strong as Angela was, a protector was what she needed now, and that was what Shawn would be.  He pulled her close, and turned with her to let the warmth run over her back.

"I love you," Shawn whispered close to her ear.

"I love you too," Angela replied, her arms around Shawn's waist, and her hands resting firmly on his back. 

 Streams rushing around her, steam rising and clearing her head, Angela melted into Shawn's embrace. Allowing herself to be supported and caressed, she laid her head on his shoulder. The anxiety she felt seemed to wash down the drain along with the tepid water. 

The feel of Shawn's velvety skin against hers awakened feelings in Angela that began to replace the pain. Feelings no less intense, but much more welcome flowed through her and she began to return Shawn's caress. Her mouth found his and began the familiar rhythm of their lips moving together. His touches were tender and gentle, never asking for more than she offered.

Lifting his head, Shawn's eyes stayed on Angela's as he reached for the soap and began to lather her body. His hands slid easily on her wet, soapy skin. He turned her in his arms and washed her back, his tactile senses exploding in the wonderment of the moment.

Shawn's caring strokes felt magical to Angela. She closed her eyes, and let her head fall back as she enjoyed the feel of his hands on her skin. The space of time that encapsulated them was the only reality Angela needed right now.

Tingling from the pure sensuality, Angela began her own cleansing exploration of Shawn. She ran her hands up his chest, over his shoulders, and around to bring them down his firm sides. Pressing herself into Shawn, Angela lifted her mouth to his again and tasted the sweetness of his love.  He held her more firmly, the pressure of her body doing things to him that he wasn't sure if Angela was ready for. 

Angela looked up at Shawn and grinned as she felt the stirrings in him against her. Relief set him free with that grin. He returned her smile and moved her under the water again, this time joining her, turning with her, rinsing the soap away with hungry movements of his hands. Shawn's lips captured Angela's once again before he spread kisses down her neck and over the graceful arc of her shoulder. 

Shawn reached to shut the shower off, and took Angela's hand to lead her out of the shower. Gently he toweled her off and put his robe around her, before drying himself and wrapping the towel around his waist. Shawn kissed her softly before he brought her back to his bed, to the softness of the sheets, and the comfort of his arms.

The robe and towel fell forgotten on the floor as they moved as one onto the bed. Caught in the ecstasy of their love Shawn moved deeply inside of Angela. Their bodies, like their souls became one. Shawn moved slowly and tenderly as Angela held him tightly; held him more closely than ever before fluttering kisses on his shoulders and neck, nuzzling into the spicy fragrance of his skin. Angela brought her fingers up and ran them through Shawn's hair, gazing deeply into his eyes as they shared this sacred connection. 

Shawn brought his face to hers, teasing her lips with his tongue before nipping her lightly and allowing his mouth the sweetness of deeply searching hers. Breathing rapidly in the passion of their loving, Angela and Shawn gave and received willingly of the treasures they had stored for the other. 

A small cry escaped Angela's lips as their love was satisfied. Shawn stayed inside, holding her tightly with his breath hot on her neck. Angela smiled in rapture with the feel of his intensity- the ebbing of their flood. Like waves crashing on the beach and lapping at the ankles of the innocent was their love. Eternal, intense, deep, abiding, thrilling, and full of every mystery man can never truly understand.

Sacred; the bond between Shawn and Angela was sacred and strong. He swore to be by her side, and she knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that Shawn would always be there.

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	6. The Darkest Night Has Its Dawn

**A****ll Fall Down: 6**

**The Darkest Night Has It's Dawn**

One month after the day Angela's world crumbled around her, she sat on her bed with pen poised above paper. The events leading her to this moment swirled in an endless stream around her mind. Somehow, someway she needed to get it out, organize it, and label it. To put it in its place; put it behind her. 

Angela turned to the journal that she had not touched since the letter from her father arrived. 

She wrote steadily the following;

~_Who would've thought it? Who would have dreamt it? Can anyone, can everyone ever know such pain and such joy all at the same time? _

_The funeral is over, my fathers body lays underground, and his soul soars in the clouds. The insurance policy he held for me is enough to carry me through several years if I am careful. Even in his death, my daddy is looking out for me…_

_What is pain, but the opposite of joy- The man I loved more than any other- until I fell so deeply for Shawn, is gone. I suppose you know, as I suppose we all know somewhere in the back of our minds, that we will eventually lose our parents; but so young, so full of potential?  My daddy was a man among men. He didn't deserve an early death._

_I wanted him to walk me down the isle… I wanted him to see my children…. Damn it! I wanted my kids to have a grandpa! This is so unfair…_

_Not only can I not offer my child a grandpa, neither can Shawn. _

_Somehow, in my great despair, I found my way home. No- scratch that- Shawn BROUGHT me home. He found me in the dark place that I was in, and he brought me home. He gave me a part of himself…quite literally._

_You know, we never once thought about it- we never thought about me getting pregnant. I needed him so bad, and I think he needed me too. His touch was what I wanted, what my aching heart so desperately longed for. Condoms or birth control were not on our minds. I should have gone on the pill when we started getting serious again. Or should I have?_

_The joining of a part of me with a part of Shawn seems to be a promise from above, a promise that there is life for me beyond my pain. There is hope; a journey I never dreamed would come so soon… one I wanted all along- someday. Someday has become today._

_I know this is bad timing- Shawn knows too. Somehow, in the midst of the hardship we know it will be, we are both ecstatic. A family- a real family- with a mom, and a dad, and a child; that is what we both want, what we both need so badly, what we were both deprived of._

_So here I am- kissing my father goodbye, and greeting my child. In the same way that every day becomes night, every night becomes day. I am personally witnessing the continuous circle of life. My flesh has died, and my flesh will live. God- what a miracle._

_Without the promise of this new life, I don't know that my focus would be good now. I know Shawn is by my side, baby or no baby. I thought he would be so scared. I think I am more scared than Shawn is though._

_Shawn proposed to me the day before I found out I was pregnant. That is how I know I want to marry him now. I have known for a long time that I wanted to spend my life with him, but I wasn't sure he was ready. It is not just the baby- not just his sense of responsibility. He wants to be with me. I want to be with him. Forever…._

_I know that we will be good to each other. I know that we will do right by our child. Shawn and I have gone through too much in our lives to inflict that kind of pain on our own child. The cycle stops here. It stops with us. A new dawn- a new way of life- a new pattern will begin with us. I promise that to my child, to my love, and to myself._

_It is true. As bittersweet as it is- it is true. _

_The darkest night has the brightest dawn. ~_

Finally drained, and feeling some relief- Angela folded the journal closed and placed it back in the bedside drawer with her pen. She rolled to her side wrapping her arm around her sleeping fiancé, and snuggled tightly to him.

Shawn felt Angela's presence and rolled to hold her, placing his strong and gentle hand on her flat stomach. 

"I love my family," Shawn whispered with a smile. 

"So do I, Baby- So do I…," Angela replied and leaned to kiss the amazing man in her arms.

***~*~*~*~*~ The End ~*~*~*~*~***

**A/N:**

I want to thank all of my wonderful reviewer's again!!! You guys are the best!

Elisabeth, Nev, HAA, Elane, Tessa, TLM, Melanie, Gohan Hugger, Christina, Amy, i-luv-riderstrong, you all rock hardcore- and I appreciate your dedication to keeping up with reading and reviewing my chapters… 

I want you to know that I read and consider every review- some of them just about make my heart burst with happiness!

I know that it is a short chapter, but this story served its purpose, and this journal entry provided the closure I needed. 

Maybe at some point I will produce a sequel, and perhaps not. (I certainly left room for one, didn't I? hehehe)

So now my traipse though Angst land is done for a while, and I can focus on the romantic comedy of Boy Meets Parenthood. Lol… 

Peace,

Shawna


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